Another Blah Day...but I've found a way to make the time go by easier...

Yup, just another day in this shit-splat town....holy crap.....I have insomnia again...I think I'm really bored. Was a little bit busier today, but not busy enough to keep me from thinking about everything. Maybe I'm feeling sorry for myself. Maybe I need to take some courses in something. My aunt recently sugested I take University courses online and (gasp!) get my B Ed. Only takes a year here in Ontario. A part of me thinks hell...I'm smart enough..why don't I take Psychology too? And get a major in English? I wonder how long I'll need to be here. Don't you hate it when you're stuck 'in the meantime'? I feel like, "well, now what?" Sometimes I think that no matter what I do, no one else really is impressed with anything I do. And you know what I think? Sometimes I think that's not so bad. Can't miss what you don't have, I always say. I'm not living for anyone else right now. I don't have anyone in my life that would prevent me from doing what I want to do. Yet I hear naysayers all around me. As if their lives are soo much better than mine. So I guess I'm just stuck in a bit of a rut. Nothing major. Nothing that I can't get out of. The question is, when do I get there? And how? I'm surrounded by negativity at times that makes me want to scream. Somedays I feel angry at those who use and abuse others. Especially those who in my life have wreaked havoc and have still to this day not atoned for their actions. I look back on my life thus far and try to tell myself that all this shit and misery has got to pay off in some way....far more than making me a stronger, wiser person. Writing about these times in my life helps. So I'm keeping a sort of diary...not here...but in notebooks...I've started a play (at least I think it'll turn out that way) that explores the minds of those who abuse....and I think you already know who will be the main antagonist in it. Yup...I figure at the very least, I'll get my moneys worth someday, and I give the one finger salute to 'O' boy. I've done some research on his behavior, cause I'm a thinker and a doer. He is by definition, a narcissist, and a pathological liar with sociopathic tendencies. I figure his misery is worth writing about. To all my Blogger pals out there who still check in from time to time...thanks for reading my posts, and putting in your two cents cause it does help knowing there are people out there who can relate. Also thank you for putting up with my rants. I'll keep you posted on my progress. Hopefully I can Blog more often, but it gets hard to find the time during the day, so night time, when I have insomnia usually is the best time. So until then, Blog on! Over and out.