All Shall Bow Before The Insomnia Queen!

Hi Blogger friends! As you can tell, yup...I'm up again late. Sigh. I wish I wasn't such a night owl. Once in a while I am up to greet the dawn and I really like watching the sun as it peeks over the horizon, and the world (or at least my corner of the world) is sobering up and getting ready for a new day. I wish I could get up early consistently. Gotta love those morning people eh? Up at the crack of dawn, full of energy, makes me wish I could bottle that energy and just take a swig the moment the alarm goes off. I need to invent a new alarm clock. Hmm..maybe one that smacks back.lol. Have some contraption outfitted with boxing gloves perched on the nightstand by the bed. The instant the alarm goes off, and you smack the snooze button.... WHAP!!! If you manage to dodge it, or are just oblivious to a piece of machinery beating the snot out of you, it'll will give you a few hooks and uppercuts every five minutes. Hmmm...
Okay, so I've had I guess an average week. This weekend wasn't too bad. Believe it or not, a guy (drunk...of course...middle aged...several teeth missing out of his head OF COURSE!!!) tried to talk to me...started out with "So you work lots eh?", and I says "Yeah"..then called my Mom to do something. He sits back down. Phew! Another guy told me "That guy will hit on anyone who can walk a straight line." No wonder I'm some big catch! Jesus Murphy...why can't you creepy freaky guys just leave me alone???? Don't you understand you will never meet my expectations, let alone exceed them...for you see you creepy men in the Back Forty, these are the strikes against you already...don't be pissed at me...I'm not superficial...just pointing out the facts..
1) YOU"RE OLD!!!!
2) YOU"RE UGLY!!!!
3) YOU HAVE THREE FRONT TEETH MISSING OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!!
4) YOU HAVE AN 80's MULLET, AND IT IS NEVER COMBED!!!
5) YOU DON'T WASH!!!
6) YOU ARE A DRUNK WHO CAN'T WALK A STRAIGHT LINE!!!
7) YOU'RE ON EI, AND YOU LIVE IN A SHACK!!!!!!!!
8) YOU GUYS USUALLY HAVE 3 KIDS WITH YOUR EX AND YOU DON'T PROVIDE YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD WITH THE BASIC NECESSITIES OF LIFE ( which to me, is the most despicable thing to do)

And ...
9) YOU"RE ALL DUMB...hey buddy, how many brain cells have you massacred today? Jesus...save the money you bought on beer and sniff gas or something. Do the world a favor and just fry the whole thing at once.

There are more, but you see where I'm going here. I mean Jesus! Enough already! I swear, I may tell the next one where to go and how to get there.
Oh a rumor I heard about the mayor...may or may not be true...he allegedly is sleeping around with his secretary. Hmm...no wonder he's too busy to get this town back on it's feet. A few of us were discussing getting the townsfolk to sign a petition to demand that the mayor publicly prove that he's done or at least attempted to fulfill the promises he made prior to election, and if he can't to respectfully ask him to step down, and let someone else take the mayor position, or at least hold an early election. Should be interesting. Stay tuned for those developments.
Anyhoo...I'd better try to sleep. Oh! Blogger question time...What is the one strike against a person, male or female, which would keep you from dating the person? Drop me a line and let me know. Oh and what do you think of my alarm clock idea? If you have a better one let me know. Get creative people.
And now the Insomnia queen is leaving the building. Long live Blogs!