Some more annoying Poutine eating Mofo's asking for butter!!!!

God damn it..again today, I had some French men walk in..first off, they ask "Tu parle francais?" I said, "No I don't". Ha Ha!!! They ask for a pizza at first to go..a minute later they say they'll eat in..then change their minds yet again a few minutes later. So I make them their pizza, put it in a pizza box for takeout, and then they ask for plates! Yeah..I felt like cursing at them in English, then Greek, then translating into French what I thought of them. But then I figured, no bite your tongue. Then they asked the dreaded question..."You have some butter for the pizza?". Keep in mind ladies and gents, that I do have butter, but I use it for my baking and is paid for out of my own pocket, therefore is mine alone to choose what to do with it. So I told the guy no, I don't have any butter. Fuck him! Good thing Pizzaslinger was taking a well deserved break. She would've done this:
French dude- You got any butter?
Pizzaslinger- Why do you need butter?
French dude- Ummm Tu parle Francais?
Pizzaslinger- Non, Parle francais gronuille!!!
French dude- Pardon?
Pizzaslinger- You deaf? Lets try Sign Language (makes some funny hand movements in front of him)
French dude- Ecoute moi Sil vous plait..I need butter pour la pizza.
Pizzaslinger- For the pizza? What, the pizza isn't good enough as it is?? You have to bastardize my pizza with a French thing such as Butter? Well, I'm not going to ecoute toi, cause you can just Mange moi!!! Fine! You want butter? (Grabs a pound of butter from the cooler, still wrapped, grabs French dude by the throat and shoves the whole stick in his mouth) La!!! Tres bon buerre, oui???
French dude-gggahhhhaahhhhggg
Pizzaslinger- Yeah..eat it! Eat it like a good Frenchman..You got enough there? (she nods his head for him) oui, merci beaucoup!! (Throws him to the ground ) Bienvenue!!!
French dude- S..s...sorry (coughs)
Pizzaslinger- Just be glad you didn't ask for the bottle of Heinz ketchup..I woulda shoved that into another orifice..do me a favor will ya? Tell all your French friends to keep their french customs out of my fine establishment. They are welcome to eat here..just I expect you to speak in English, and never ever ask for poutine, ketchup or butter ever again!!! TU ECOUTE MOI????
French dude-Oui.
Pizzaslinger-what?
French dude- Uhhh..yes.
Pizzaslinger- See? English is a piece of cake! Enjoy your pizza. (French dude hurriedly goes back to his place and eats his pizza quietly, and then leaves, but not before cleaning up his table and leaving the Pizzaslinger a nice tip).
There! Pizzaslinger is one tough chick. Her view is if Quebec can insist so strongly on seperation, and making French the dominant language, than Pizzaslinger can favor English, and insist that all her patrons speak it..I mean after all, its Ontario. Pizzaslinger looks down on anyone in support of splitting the country up. Like Pizzaslinger says "Canada..Love it or leave it!!!" No, she is not racist, but feels whats good for the goose is good for the gander, and she's never been one to shy away from the task of playing the Devils Advocate. Ha!!!
Pizzaslinger wants to tell you allshe'sthourouglhly enjoyed the questions she's recieved thus far, and incourages more questions from her adoring fans! She'll be out of town tomorow, and hopefully will be able to post another blog of her own again in the next couple of days..Lets come up with some more questions for her. Ask away..she requests clean questions, and maybe a few thats'll challenge her a little more than last time lol. Ask as many as you want. She'll answer them all! Until next time..