Happy Birthday to me...

Yeah, how did Stranger spend her birthday? Work...and having to deal with an uber asshole cause he wanted a pizza at 3:15am on my birthday. Now we were supposed to be done at 3 am...keep in mind ladies and gents that I'd put in 16 hours already, and was dreading the cleanup. So this guy walks in..at quarter past 3...the signs were turned off, and yet he demands that I make hima pizza cause "he's such a good customer" (his idea of being a good customer is saying he pops in about once a month). I told him no, cause I had to close. He got upset, and then said, "well, I don't have to order from you if you're going to be such a bitch..I can make something at home". To which I replied "You do that. Goodnight." So he leaves..then I had to deal with a real drunk chick we call "Amazon Barbie", who was having a bitch of a time trying to do an Interac transaction. She's crying cause she thought my mom was upset at her. Finally I got all the stragglers to get into the waiting cab outside to take their asses home. Then I started my cleanup. Took me til 5 am to get the place back to normal. I finally got home and fell asleep at approximately 5:30am...woke up to the phone ringing quarter to 2pm..mom's signal for me to wake up. I was grateful I got to sleep in a fewhours. Then I went downstairs, and Mom produced a beautiful cake, angel food cake layered with whipping cream and mandarin oranges. Fucking amazing! So all day I had people coming in to say happy birthday, and I'd get them a slice. I still have a few pieces left. So then I worked til 11pm. What a day! But on a good note, I won $25 on a scratch ticket, so the days not totally lost.
Blogger question...if you are in a service related job, what was the worst customer you ever had to deal with? Heres the fun part...tell me the original story, then write a dialogue of how you wished it really went down, complete with an action hero type name for your job position. For me, in the case of uber asshole..hmm my character The Pizzaslinger would do this...
Asshole: Hey make me a pizza!
Pizzaslinger: No I can't..it's quarter past 3, and I should've been closed 15 minutes ago.
Asshole: Aww come on! I'm a good customer!
Pizzaslinger: Sorry.
Asshole: Fine. You don't have to be such a bich about it. I can make something to eat at home.
Pizzaslinger: You do that. And don't expect me to serve you pizza when you call me a bitch.
Asshole: Well, you're acting like a bich.
Pizzaslinger: Listen asshole! You haven't seen a bitch yet...you'd better trot your balls outta here before I slice them off and stuff them down your fuckin throat!
Asshole: I dare you to try it.
Pizzaslinger: You asked for it! ( She does a super cool triple flip over the counter, which resembles action from the movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. She draws her pizza knife back, with the point aiming at asshole, her left arm stretched toward him, pointing in his face, much like that badass scene in Revenge of the Sith. She gives an evil grin, does a kewl spin, and a split second later has the knife up against assholes throat.)
Pizzaslinger: I believe you owe me an apology.
Asshole: (starts to cry, and shits his pants) I....I...I...
Pizzaslinger: Say it Shitty Pants, before I kill you where you stand.
Asshole: (Blubbering, snot coursing down his nose)..I'm soo soorrryyy!!!
Pizzaslinger: next time you make a stupid comment I won't give you the opportunity to apologize.
(With that, she takes the knife away, grabs him by the throat with her left hand and starts marching towards the door. Another customer is kind enough to open the door, and the Pizzaslinger tosses him so far he does a somersault thru the air, hits a lamp post, and does another somersault and lands on his shitty arse with a nasty splat noise. He gets up weakly, and runs away awkwardly, and with a noticeable limp. Pizzaslinger laughs, wipes the pizza knife off with a corner of her prisinte white apron and goes back inside).
There! Violent yes, but it sure makes me feel a heck of a lot better. So come on Bloggers! Give your character whatever powers you want, and blog me your stories! Cheers!