Freakin Retarded Men in The Back Forty

Well....something interesting happened the other day that I thought I'd share with you. I was serving a customer, and asked him a question (I forget what the question was, but it was about his order) and his reply was....(drumroll please).................."Yes Sir".
No. That is not a friggin typo. He actually called me Sir. I looked at him and said,"What?"
He says, "Oh! Sorry. Ma'am". (wrong again asshole!) Instead of saying what I wanted to say in parentheses (I'm actually a "Miss"), I said.."Um..last time I checked I was a woman." Then here's the kicker..he has the nerve to reply "Prove it."
Hmm..never mind the fact that I was wearing womens clothing...have super long hair I wear in a ladylike bun..womens glasses...hmmmm...how bout the fact I HAVE BOOBS ASSHOLE!!!!! And no, I don't have to flash the damn things. Ha. Why doesn't he prove he's a man then? Whip out yer dick so I can laugh at how puny it is, all the while trying to locate my microscope to get a better look. I bet his dicks smaller than the ex's. Fuckin prick eh?
The funny thing is..this is the second time I've been called a Sir in the past month. Another guy said it, but I could tell he was daydreaming when he said it and forgot who he was speaking to, as he was apologizing profusely.Even still..I was a little hurt the first time..the second time..well...I was furious! I swear, I hope to God there isn't a third time..if there is..I'm gonna let my bad ass alter ego Pizzaslinger go to town, and, as they say out here.."Git 'er done!"
In other news...................................
My hip is feeling better. I'm noticing I've been able to cut down a smidge on the Ibuprofen, which to me is great. I am now taking it only before bed, as I'm finding that it helps prevent the horse kick to the ass feeling as I'm waking up. Thank God.
Was asked by my doc to see her for a"follow up" appointment. Which is kinda wierd cause I had my routine physical, and all blood work come back as normal. Apparantly, I was deemed healthy as a horse. So I'm not sure what she needs to follow up on. Hmm..come to think of it..was never asked by a doctor to pop in for a follow up. Everything was taken care of at the regularly scheduled appointments. I'm sure its nothing, but I am feelinguneasy about the whole thing. Gut instinct kicking in perchance? Well, guess I can't cross that bridge til I get to it, so am not going to agonize about it.
On to more exciting news...found out my fave group will be playing in Toronto in October, and yours truly plans to attend with her sister! At the moment an listening to their tunes. Those who know me personally know exactly which group I'm talking about. For those who are new aquaintences, the band is the Pet Shop Boys. IO love the music. Helped me thru teenage angst when I was "shy and dry and verging on ugly", have a song for just about every mood out there, and helped me get on with my life after the ex's shenanigans. A song to describe him would be...hmmm...how bout "I'm With Stupid"? Or even "Casanova in Hell". HAHAHAHA!!! Oh I love that song...if you haven't heard it, I recommend giving it a listen. Anyhoo...gotta get going...gotta finish scanning the comp and get to bed already. A huge HUGE shout out to Dave g....Holy crap man..I'm super happy to hear from you..thought you'd sworn off the Internet entirely! And hows wedded bliss treating you? To everyone else..esp those who haven't blogged on their own blogs as of late..I'm patiently waiting for new posts...write about anything..just write something!
And of course...those that do take the time to check out my crazy blog from time to time and put in their two cents..I humbly thank you. Okay...I'm going now..blog ya later!

Someone Lynch Nick Lachey Please!!!

Oh yeah.. you guessed it...another commercial that blows, mainly cause of the guy who's in it. Yup..Nick Lachey..the stubble faced lothario of Hollywood and Musicdom. Have you seen this commercial for Clix body spray for men? Theres Ugly Nick..going about his day, and using one of those clicker thingys to count off how many chicks (and guys too!) look like they want to sit on his face! I really don't see why people get off on this cretin. With that nasty ass stubble, he looks like he hasn't washed in a fucking week. And yes I realize that at one point he was every preteens wet dream when he was with the band 98 degrees....but hey..what has he done lately? Oh yeah..he'd married Jessica Simpson, and despite the fact she gave him her virginity, he couldn't keep his own dick in his pants when she was away from him. I'm glad she dumped him..toss him to the curb honey! She hasn't turned out much better though..that video "These Boots Were Made For Walkin'" was a disgusting display of female stereotype if I ever saw it. I mean..she wasn't washing the car....she was practically screwing it. And the lyrics!! "Can I get a soo-ey? Can I get a Yeehaw!"...I mean..the classic sung by Nancy Sinatra was an empowering song for women, and now bastardized into a rant for fitting into the patriarchal stereotype of what men think women should be. Way to go Jessica you fuckin bitch! You just set the women's movent back 100 years! Pizzaslinger says she's gonna take The General, and shove that car right up your skinny starved ass if she ever sees you!!!It was as nasty as Paris Hiltons commercial for that fast food joint (the name escapes me). So I blame Nick for turning his ex wife into a skank. I mean look at it this way....he had a good thing..he didn't have to work another day in his life if he didn't want to....just cling to the skirts of his money earning honey...relax by the pool...maybe meet the guys for a beer. But no..he has to go fuck anything that moves. And so Jessica, pretty though she may have been, is wondering what those other girls got that she hasn't. Nothing really..but she thinks they have something, so she gets really skinny..almost Ethiopian skinny..does a movie with Johnny Knoxville (which I refuse to see..the original series always has and always will kick that movies arse) lets a rumor slip that maybe she and Johnny have been playing the game "Hide the Banana", and starts hawking products like Proactiv. Then does the crappy video..then the arguments between the two of them...probably about who was the prettiest in the marriage. Then the seperation where it seemed Nick Lachey didn't seem to give a shit whether his marriage worked out..then the divorce, and now he's on a Goddamn commercial about a body spray that I bet, if sprayed on the man whore, would make him smell like an absolute shitball! So I'd like to see that fucknut lynched, and pronto! I mean Nick isn't that great of a singer (and all you people who retort.."Oh yeah? Think you can do better?" I say No, but I don't think Nick Lacheys voice is that great either..so fuck off!) he looks like a dirtbag..his tatoos are crap, and he seriously needs to get a fuckin life! Fuck Him!!! With a Fifteen foot red hot poker!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Some more things that annoy the shit outta me lately...

Thought I'd run the gamut of annoying commercials..here's another one that was, admittedly, cute at first, but after I'd say, two days, it started to really annoy me. Its those stupid "Old Navy" commercials. The one that really sucks is the chick who's standing there blowing a bubble with her chewing gum, and lo and behold begins her ascent into the stratosphere while a bunch of people jump up and grab hold, so at the end of the commercial there are 10 people linked like the game Monkeys in a Barrel, as they float skyward. In the background is this song, enticing the viewer to "Get their 'Fash On'". Okay, now this commercial annoys me on several different levels...Never mind that the chick doesn't exhale helium, and enough at that to lift her 100 pound body off the ground, or the fact that at the end of the commercial, the fuckin bubble is larger than an SUV..which means she'd have to have been chewing at least 100 packs of gum. Its the fact that the people clinging to her legs look like desperate groupies...and don't appear to be alarmed that some chick is FLOATING periously high up in the sky, and any moment the bubble could burst, hurtling her to the concrete, and causing grievious bodily harm. And they want to join her up in the sky..perhaps all these people are all planning to commit a mass suicide in a grisly manner in the middle of a bustling city? Reminds me of lemmings jumping off a cliff. And the most annoying thing about this stupid commercial is the fucking song...is this commercial creators intent to invent a new slang word? Believe me.."Fash On" is not going to join this Strangers vocabulary EVER....and Pizzaslinger says if someone dares to speak it in a sentence (especially if the person is white) she'll sucker punch the individual into next week.
And while we're on the subject of FASHION (that is how its spelled!)..I really hate seeing clothing with the clothing company's name emblazoned across it. I'm the type of person who refuses to be a free walking billboard for these multi-millionaire companies who hire slave labor in 3rd world countries. If they want me to wear their clothes with their logo in plain sight...then they can pay ME. Why should I pay over 50 bucks for a shirt, and then advertise to them so they can make more money? Fuck them! They can kiss my arse! Hell..I'd rather make my own clothes!
And still on the subject of advertising....why is it wherever I look, I see fucking Movie stars hawking shit like clothes, cell phones etc? You know..this never happened 5 years ago..Now they're all over the place...and you ask.."Now Stranger..why would that bother you?". I'll tell you why..cause they take all the good commercials away from those actors who want to make a name for themselves in the industry, and the unknowns are relegated to doing the fucking Herpes commercials to make ends meet...The movie stars have enough money. I think the stars should do the Herpes commercials..hell they're so well known that no one would believe it to be real anyways. And I don't give a shit how fabulously Nutrisse or Loreal works for these stars hair, or how it covers their grey..hell for all I know, they have enough money to buy themselves new heads every year! How does it work for a person who doesn't have an arsenal of stylists, dressers, makeup artist, lighting experts, and professional photographers? HMMMM?
Anyhoo..I'm sure that my Blogger family has seen more commercials that make you want to vomit..especially my fam out in the States, and overseas. It doesn't have to just be a commercial on TV...it can also be in print or located on the Internet. Please share...its nice when people join in on the rant! Well, must go for now...chime in! Peace!

And now for something completely different...

I have a rant today that doesn't pertain to work..yeah..thought I'd change it up a bit. Maybe its cause I can't sleep, and maybe its the Ibuprofen percolating thru my system at present. I watch a lot of TV at work...mainly the FoxNetwork, and in between my fave shows, and noticeably at dinnertime, there are commercials that are played that are..to be quite honest...absolutely DISGUSTING!!! Take this commercial....opens with a chick in exercise clothes kinda looking embarassed, and finally blurts out.."I.................have genital herpes." Then they talk about the drug Valtrex, that may reduce future "outbreaks", even tho its "still possible to spread herpes to others". Dear Christ! Holy fuck man..is nothing sacred anymore? I mean can I for once sit down to a meal and watch my shows without having to listen to commercials about herpes, yeast infections, mestrual cramps, constipation, and bladder control problems? I think they need to have a channel especially devoted to those commercials man. When those commercials come on, I lose my appetite, and at times almost lose the portion of my meal I'd just ingested. And then I know its an actor doing these commercials but come on! What if you're like on a blind date..and the guy or gal goes.."You look familiar! Oh yeah! I saw you on that commercial for herpes/errectile dysfunction/Depends diaper ad".
Then theres another ad that may not be gross, but so irritating I swear I'll knock out the person that created it if I ever meet him. Its that "Head on"commercial.you know the one..heres the dialogue.."Head On..apply directly to the forehead..Head On..Apply directly to the forehead..Head On..Apply directly to the forehead." AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! Pizzaslinger would like to say here and now that the best thing to be applied to commercial creators head is a nice heavy brick. Repeatedly, and with considerable force. How does your "Head On " work now, asshole? HAHAHAHA!!!
And then there are those commercials for baby diapers. Now I'm sure that sometimes these commercials are useful for parents who require a sturdy diaper for their rambunctios tot, but for single people such as myself..those commercials are simply nasty. They pour BLUE liquid in the diaper to show how absorbent it is. Okay..trying to spare me from realism? Too late..my mind is already running. SO it holds pee..but my mind is still working after the commercials over..thinking"Ok..so it holds a gallon of piss..how bout a gallon of runny diarreah? Then my mind thinks about how babies shits stink to high heaven..so smelly, you want to wear a protective suit from the Center for Disease Control, Level 5 to change the childs shitty arse. So now my minds gone too far, and am now ready to barf up everything I ate in the past 2 days. Geez! The same goes for pads. One commercial opens with a woman asking another woman in the drugstore "Do you find that your pad gets wet and sticky?" Oh Jesus please us!!!! Then the infamous blue liquid is poured into the latest pad with wings, and the woman who asks the question invites the other woman TO TOUCH THE FUCKING THING!!! What is wrong with this picture? Why don't they do a commercial about condoms then, where a guy asks another guy "Do you find your condom too tight and hot?" Then cut to a shot of a guy putting a condom on a banana or something. Actually..I'd laugh my ass off if they did that. Okay..cut to another scene where first guy invites second guy to "touch the banana". Lol!!! Okay..maybe not the greatest example, but I'm sure it would turn off the men. anyhoo..these commercials have got to go man...at the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to keep my dinner down ever again, and I'll waste away to nothing! So there you go...heres a blogger question..what is the most annoying/disgusting commercial you ever saw? Let me know! Gotta go. Cheers!

I think I may become addicted to Ibuprofen..

Hello all! Again my bad for not blogging more frequently, altho I do leave long posts to keep you going. Hadn't been wanting to sit too long in front of my computer as of late, as I find prolonged sitting painful, due to this left hip of mine that doesn't know how to stay put after its been popped back into place. I woke up this morning (well, afternoon to be precise..I couldn't sleep due to pain until 5 am thereabouts), and I sit up and BOOM! I can't move my left leg without the sensation that a horse has just kicked my left ass cheek. Yeah. Good morning Stranger! BOOT!!! I am getting really sick of constantly getting adjustments, and it only providing temporary relief..some days, I'm still in pain after a treatment. It costs me 20 dollars per visit, and if I keep shelling out this kind of dough, I'll be pissed. I even purchased a $40 backrest for my chair, and it helps a bit, but the pain is still there. The pain also snakes around my waist and hits my stomach, so I always feel nauseous. So today I decided, fuck it..I'm going to the pharmacy to see what I can take to just take the edge off. Because I still need to work. I don't like to take pills whatsoever....and up to this point I've been dealing with the pain without meds. Now I figured I needed to live a little better with the help of chemistry.
So I asked the pharmacist what i could take...He said he could give me Tylenol 3's, but I said no because I'm allergic to Tylenol,and landing my ass in the hospital is not one of my life goals. So he shows me some Ibuprofen 300mg tablets. He said to take 2 every 6 hours. I purchased them and took 2 on an empty stomach, and within less than a half hour my pain was..........completely gone. Now, I realize dear Blogger family that pain is a symptom of a problem, but I can deal working with a limp, just as long as i don't have to feel the pain. So I felt alot better today, and am going to take them for a couple days, then lower the dose to one every 6 hours, to see if that'll be enough. The way I see it, spending 10 bucks for a bottle of Ibuprofen will save me 40 bucks a week to visit the chiropractor. I can do stretches and stuff at home to help realign my back, and of course, now I sit ramrod straight in my chair. So I'm doing what I can..and I think I really need to get back into shape. You know, I can walk (kinda gimpy) but I can't run. That sucks. But hopefully things will change soon. Gotta be optimistic eh?
Anyhoo, not much to report on in regards to work. Tho I do have a pet peeve..people who order a pizza last minute. Tonight I was hoping to close at 10pm...then someone phones at like 10:05 for a pizza. I say ok, make the pizza, put it in the oven..the phone rings. Another pizza. Then someone calls for a couple subs after these pizzas were done and picked up. So I didn't finish til 11pm. Grr. Oh well, I guess I got their money right?
Anyone else out there got a bad back? How do you deal with it? Any suggestions would help. Think I may need to pop another pill...pain's coming back again. Hopefully I can blog again in the next couple of days. Until then..

.........................

Don't really know what to post..sorry for the lack of entries this past week... mainly been feeling rundown. The other day I had to see the local chiropractor to fix my back, and the rest of the day I had some pain. Today my back feels better. I bought myself a back cushion for my chair, and it seems to be helping.
Hmm..I do have a mini rant today...near the end of my shift tonight I had a guy come in that had ordered a pizza sub.He says to me," You're sweating." Actually, I wasn't..I wasn't even feeling too warm..and I noticed that he was staring at my chest while he was speaking with me. This is the same guy who once asked me if I'd like to come to his place on a Saturday afternoon, drink wine, and listen to Gregorian chant. First off...this guy is like 55. Second off...I'm not a fan of "Sounds of the Vatican" or whatever the fuck buddy listens to", and third...QUIT STARING AT MY TITS!! HEY BUDDY! My face is up here!!! I mean how fucking rude can a guy get? You know? He must've been smoking a crack pipe or something. I just ignored him and took his money, but I think he shoulda left a tip for rudely staring at my chest. If he tries that again..well, I may let Pizzaslinger out to play. Whats funny about all this is that I don't have a chest thats stare worthy. lol.
Another guy comes in..drunker than you can imagine, and tries to flirt with a couple of 15 year old girls. I'm glad he didn't touch them, cause I woulda chopped his hands off with my knife. He was so drunk that he asked me 5 times if he paid for his take out order..then 3 times asked if I'd called the cab. This guy was in his 50's..and I thought..hmm 50 something dude hitting on children? Not good. Molester! I wouldn't be surprised if there are a few child molesters living here..there always seems to be people moving here trying to run away from something. Hell, there is a guy who lives in town that actually..umm....how can I put this as delicately as possible? He...romanced Fido..and got caught. And of course the "swingers" I mentioned in the previous posts. Okay..now I'm making myself nauseous. Gonna go now, and vomit. No Blogger question today...just pop by and say hello. Cheers.

Damned Thunder Bay Drivers, Disgusting Humidity,Thunderstorms causing Power Outages, and Some Asshole Trying to "Get To Know Me Better!" HA!

Okay..first off...my bad. I know my loyal Blogger Family has been anxiously awaiting a new post, but alas, try as I might, I couldn't get the time to even check my emails. No kidding! I had 86 messages waiting for me..okay they were mostly spam, but I did get some nice messages, some jokes, and a terrific pic sent to me by Sugarfoot. Hey, that was one hell of an elk you shot there! I bet it was good eats too. MMMM..eeeelllllllkkkk...(drools).
I guess I should explain my absence...mostly I've just been putting in long ridiculous hours at the family pizzeria, not to mention also in the past week helped my Mom with painting some walls in one of the houses she owns, AND all the while dealing with humidity from hell!! Its like spending your whole day standing by a pizza oven thats put in a sauna. Temperatures got so extreme there for a while that I had to take drastic measures to keep cool. One was to drink lots of water, but at ice cold temps..then had to soak my head down with ice cold water, and finally, to work with a wet towel wrapped around my neck with all the fans blowing. Of course with the humidity comes the huge thunderstorms here and there, which basically guarantees that our town is engulfed in darkness when a storm hits at night, prompting me to search blindly for my cigarette lighter so I can get my bearings. Ah! I don't mind really..justa s long as I don'thave a pizza in the oven...kinda hard to tell if a pizza is ready if its pitch black.
Anyhoo, Mom and I just got back tonight from Thunder Bay..yeah..we closed for 2 days and went shopping. It was great because I found and bought 2 pairs of clip on shades for my specs. I wear prescription, so it would be pricey to have prescription sunglasses made up. I absolutely loove them!! I feel like I'm going incognito, plus I find that I can look directly at people in the eyes and stare without them noticing. I noticed a lot of people checking me out...wierd. Not in a bad way tho. I guess I looked like a cool hippy chick..what can I say? I have my own thing goin' on.
Well, after we hit the mall, Mom decided to pop into Superstore to pick up some groceries before we headed home. Going into Superstore at 3 in the afternoon is not a great idea my friends..its just packed with shoppers. I almost lost it on someone in the parking lot...well, both Mom and I did. We were searching for a spot close to the main doors to park...and we find one...and just as we're about to pull in..some coffin-dodger comes barrelling in with his oversized SUV and almost rams Moms gorgeous Cadillac. Keep in mind everyone, that we had already began turning into the spot and he could tell we claimed the spot first. Does he back off after Mom leans on the horn and both of us gesturing a "what the fuck do you think you're doing?" at him???? NO...he keeps moving his fucking vehicle in, forcing my mother to back the car up and find another spot. Okay at this point I was completely furious...he freaked Mom out so much I thought she was going to have a heart attack. So when I went in..I made it my purpose to track down the guy and freak on him. Seriously! I really wanted to ask him this question.."Hey! Do you always drive like an asshole or is this just an off day for you?". When I caught up with him, I could sense he knew I was angry, and he turned away...but before he did I was alarmed, cause he looked like he wasn't quite right in the head, like he had Alzheimers or something....I know about Alzheimers cause I lived with a lady for over a year who'd suffered from it. He just had this vacant look on his face, and I knew that if I confronted him about it, he may not remember what took place. I walked away, now infuriated that people like this guy can still keep his license after the senseless crap he pulled. And I'm sure I'm not the first person he did it to. One of these days he'll kill someone..there were loads of pedestrians around that had to give his vehicle a wide berth because his driving was completely erratic. Whats funny is I spend an exorbiant amount of money to go through Drivers Ed, got one more level to complete for the full G license (Graduated licensing..I can drive on my own...in 11 months I take the Highway exam, which is also the exit test), and this guy looked old enough to have gotten his after only paying five bucks at the local post office. I don't care how many years one's been on the road..I think every 5 years, on your Birthday, you should have to take a driving test to ensure your driving skills are up to par. Yeah..that would cost a lot of money, but hey! It would also create jobs right? And it'll keep people on their toes so they don't develop bad habits over time. Anyhoo, this guy just disgusted me, so I was happy when we finally got our stuff paid for and we left T-Bay.
Hmmm....oh! Almost forgot my other rant...yup...someone tried to order pizza at 3am on Saturday.I was already putting the chairs up on the tables to sweep and mop, and this guy (drunk of course) comes in to order. Totally oblivious to the fact my Mom is doing her cashout, I'm cleaning up, the sign is turned off...how many more hints do these people need???? Mom said no and then he turns to me, and , standing close (TOO close..I have a personal bubble) he asks something about what I thought about being closed..I told him " I just do my job and go home." and I moved away from him cause Iswear if he tried to touch me I would've given Pizzaslinger real life and let her finish him off. Well, you think he'd leave but he goes on to ask," You just do your job and go home? (God! I HATE when someone repeats what I say...I didn't fucking stutter!) You should come out sometime and have fun". I said "Not interested." He says, "You're not interested?? Hey, you got an education right? You got a diploma or something?" I said, "Yeah." He says," What did you take?" I said "Classes." He says "In what courses?" I said "All kinds. " He says, "What you're not going to tell me?" Mom steps in and says, " What the fuck you mean she didn't tell you? She just told you! She went to school and took all kinds of classes! Whats it to you if she's got an education? You think she's not educated like you?" One of his friends comes in ( a female) and says to the guy, "Why are you bothering these ladies when they're trying to close?" I turned to her and said "Thank you!" She finally shooes him out with him mumbling "What did I do? I was just making conversation."
Okay..."making conversation" does not mean playing the game "20 questions"! I mean, why do guys like this feel the need to interrogate me like that? I don't like it, and all the women I've spoken to on the subject detests it too... so STOP please. Plus, standing too close to a woman who does not know you from Adam and Eve, especially when you got alcohol stank on your breath is a total no no..you may thnk you're palying it cool, or being slick, but for a gal like myself..well...lets just say if I had Mace or a Taser on me I would've put it to good use that night. Apparantly this guy thought he was a smooth motherfucker, some "nice guy" who claimed he was "a good customer". Oh yeah? Then how come I never saw him ever before?????HMMMMMM? Believe me...I'd remember some asshole like him. I would rather cut off my hands with the meat slicer than go on a date in this town, or let some drunk asshole try to touch me. I swear to God..if I get propositioned again..that guy is going to get his eyes poked out. All you asshole men in this shitsplat town in the Back Forty..PAY ATTENTION!!! I'm NOT trying to play "Hard to Get" with you..I'm simply NOT INTERESTED IN YOU!!!! Contrary to what people may believe..I do not need a relationship at this point in time...Christ..thats the last thing I need. All you Back Forty men are NOT all that. Believe me....the ugliest, drunkest, most disgusting freaks live here. Would you believe me Blogger family if I told you that Northern Ontario has the second highest percentage of single men in Canada..only second to the first place winner Fort McMurray, which boasts a population of which over 60% is male..which makes Fort Mac a very dangerous place to live if you're a single gal like me. Chances of getting raped by more than one assailant is higher there no doubt, also the chance of getting a venereal disease. Yeah..Herpes is the gift that keeps on giving. Absolutely disgusting! Chances of being told you're "Hot" and "You should come party with me sometime" by a stinking unwashed deadbeat in Manitouwadge is guaranteed if you're a woman here..married or not..apparantly, morality at this point just falls by the wayside.....I've heard of several married couples who engage in "swinging" (swapping spouses for a sexual encounter FYI) which is also completely gross. Especially since the couples in question don't exactly have porn star worthy bodies...very much the opposite...a gross image comes to mind...looks like..two pigs fighting under a blanket.
Okay that last rant made me a tad nauseated. How bout you? Gonna quit this entry for another day..but before I go, here's my Blogger question. What's your rant for the week? This one should be interesting. It can be anything from rude people to not having enough grip strength to open a jar of freakin pickles. Let me know! Peace!