Stranger 1, Asshole 0....

Greetings one and all! We are finally in the deep freeze out in the Back Forty, and its colder than a witches tit. No matter..it won't be long now til the end of winter. Yours truly has been holding down the fort whilst the parental unit is out West on business, and this past weekend I was slinging pizzas like they were going outta style. I was so busy in fact, that there was a 45 minute wait for a pizza, which no one complained about.
Now you ask.."Why the title Stranger?". Well, my friends, Saturday I put an arrogant man in his place. What was interesting was the guy seemed like the kind of fella that expected a woman to give in to a demand even if she said no. Let me elaborate.
I get a phone call, and on the call display it indicated the call was coming from the golf course. I take an order from a lady who asked for 4 extra large pizzas. Each extra large (18 inch pizza) with tax comes to $32.49. So she asks what the price was all together and I said close to 140 but not to quote me cause I didn't have time to calculate the exact price (the price was actually $129.94, so I wasn't too far off). Plus, each pizza came with a 2L pop. She agrees and I tell her it'll be ready in 45 minutes.
A half hour later a guy comes in and says he's here to pick up 3 extra large pizzas. I told him the order was in fact for 4. He asks the price and when I told him, he thought the price was too steep (his word was "ridiculous") and that perhaps we should cancel one of the pizzas. I told him, "Sir, all 4 pizzas are in the oven and almost ready. Are you saying I have to take a loss because you're changing your mind at the last minute?" He says, "Well, I could buy frozen pizza from the grocery store across the street and it would be a lot cheaper, and the kids would be happy with that". I told him, "Sir, the reason why frozen pizzas are so cheap is becaue the manufacturers don't have to remit taxes for the cheese they use." I continued, "Besides, you get a free 2L pop with each pizza here." He says, "Well, I'm a Cub Scout leader and I think I should get a discount. What if I don't take the pop then? Do I get a discount?" I said, "Sir, you can either take the pop or not take the pop..regardless of your choice my prices stay the same." He then told me I was being rude. I told him that I as not being rude, I am merely refusing to give my pizza away for free. I then told him, "Sir your pizzas will be ready in 15 minutes..you can either take a seat or you can go and then come back to pick them up". He chooses to leave, then he comes back and says this to me when he returned..
"Madam, I do apologize for my reaction earlier, and in Cub Scouts we have a saying, which is "Our word is our bond." I promised to come in and get the pizzas, and I have done so. However I think you were very rude to me and had I been someone not bound by that motto, I would've let you eat your loss. I will tell you that because of your rudeness toward me I won't be coming here again"
This was my response ladies and gents......
"Sir, If you think I was a tad rude or brusque it is only because you've put me on the defensive. You insulted me by implying that a childs tastebuds are not such that they could tell the difference between my fresh pizza and a frozen one. Moreover, you come to me in the middle of a supper rush and demand a discount. We do have deals with other organizations, but they make arrangements with us at least a day in advance. Furthermore sir, I work anywheres from 15 to 18hr days here in this pizzeria, and I put a lot of work into making the dough fresh everyday. The sauce is made fresh everyday. The vegetables and meats are chopped and sliced here. The cheese is shredded here. This is a family run business sir, and I take great pride in the quality of my pizzas which far surpasses any frozen pizza out there. I've had people come in here from as far away as Toronto and say this is the best pizza they've ever tasted. I know of dozens of kids here in town, some of whom pump your gas for minimum wage, who come in here and buy a Party sized pizza which is $34.20 and not once did they ever complain about the price. In fact they say that the price is worth it. I can give you their names if you want it. I work most days by myself, and I don't appreciate it when men come in here and think they can coerce me in to bending to their will. If you do not want to conduct business here ever again, I totally respect your choice, and if you choose to feed your children 3rd rate pizza in the future thats your choice too. However, I stand behind the prices on my menu because Sir, they are worth that much!"
He pays for the pizza, and I hand him back his change saying, "Yes, heres you 4 pennies back." He says, "I'm going to take the pops then". I said, "By all means sir, take the pop. Have a good night."
Not once did I raise my voice to this guy...in fact I would call my attitude rather assertive. I do take serious pride in the pizzas I make, and he is lucky he did not have this conversation with my father. I told my Dad what happened, and his response was, "You should have told him to fuck right off!" My Mom thought I handled the situation better than she would have too. I meant every word that I said, and you know what? I encourage that jerk to buy frozen pizzas from the store, because he's helping someone to keep their job, and when the grocery worker gets their paycheque, they order pizza from us. The only way he could hurt my business is to never purchase anything in this town ever again, and convince at least 1000 others to do the same, and cause a few other businesses to go under because of it. But it won't happen. Funny how this guy complained when he makes over $60,000 a year working for the Ministry of Natural Resources. Just cause a guy plays grab ass with a bunch of kids doesn't mean I am under any obligation to give him a discount. I talked to a few old timers here about him, and turns out he and his wife demand discounts all the time from other businesses. I don't like people who feel entitled to getting what they want. And if he doesn't buy here ever again, I hope he thouroughly enjoys that pizza he ate, because thats the last best damned pizza that he will ever eat.
Yeah so that cocksucker was a real pain in the ass. I think Pizzaslinger would've done her classic triple flip over the counter, snatched his glasses from his face, pull the back of his coat over his head and punched him repeatedly, Hockey Night In Canada Style. Then she would have broken the glasses in two, shoved them in his mouth, grabbed him by the balls and twisted the nuts around 10 times, so that when she let go, he'd fly out the door like a freakin helicopter, all the while he's begging for mercy. But shes not done there! She goes after him and flies through the air Matrix style and does a super cool flying side kick to his head as he tries to get up and run away like the sissyboy he is. Around the corner a group of young Cub scouts stand, watching the battle, and they, realizing what a pussy this guy is, grab rocks, and run over to stone the loser. The boys jeering, they kick the leader where ever he's open, telling him his survival skill instructions sucked, and that now inspired by Pizzaslinger, they all tell the fallen man they will quit the scouts, and join a real organization such as Minor Hockey. Then the kids all troop into the pizzeria, where Pizzaslinger feeds the young ones the best pizza they've ever had, and they thank her for opening up their eyes as to the jerk their former leader once was. Pizzaslinger bestows on each of the children the ability to instantly pick out any bullshitters, and great physical strength and ninjitsu skills when they need it to ward off kidnappers and pedophiles. The kids finish and head out he door, high fiving Pizzaslinger as they pass by her. Satisfied by a job well done, Pizzaslinger goes back into the kitchen to sharpen her knives and prepare for another day.
There! I feel better now!
In other news, I've managed to go to the gym 2 times last week and tonight I put in a good 2 hour workout at the gym, and am psyched about going tomorrow night. My hip is doing well, aside from a weird sandpapery grinding I feel deep in the socket. It doesn't hurt, but I'm thinking about getting some tests done to make sure I didn't tear any cartilage in the hip itself when it poppedout of place. So if all goes well, I will go every night this week except Friday and Saturday. Been eating healthier too the past few days, and I feel good. Anyhoo, my bad for not blogging sooner. Hope you enjoyed this post..comments are always welcome. Tell me f anyone pissed you off lately and how you handled it, and I'd love to hear if any of you had sometin real good happen or you lately. I look forward to hearing from my Blogger family. Until then...

American Idol Cattle Call....well..most people sounded like cattle....

Okay, I just gotta comment on the Seattle auditions for American Idol. Normally I wouldn't give a shit about posting on this topic, but after reading an article bashing Simon Cowell's cruel comments to a couple of people, I just had to say something in defence of dear old Simon. I mean..he's Pizzaslingers favorite critic. Anyone who saw the first wave of auditions from a sea of off-key, tone-deaf young adults with overblown egos, has to feel Simon, Paula, and Randy's pain. And in sharing that pain with them, as I saw those horrible auditions, I agree wholeheartedly with every comment he uttered. I have to give the guy credit.....he's got courage to say exactly what we, sitting in our living rooms are thinking, and wouldn't dare say out loud, for fear of not being PC. Don't tell me you liked the "singing" (a fart has better pitch) because I won't believe you.
So I guess some people got their underwear tied up in a knot because Simon called one guy a "bush baby". And they were pissed when he dissed the performance from an autistic guy. Thats when I realized how ridiculous people can get. I mean, I think its great that an autistic person would go an do such a tough audition. He didn't get in......and got criticism from the judges...........and suddenly everyone is in an uproar. And I ask you, dear reader....So whats the problem with that? Lots of people got rejected that day. When you go to an audition to find the ONE American to be the next Idol, you know damn well that you better be fucking fantastic to even have the chutzpah to try. Some people are there because they are good, and they have the drive, and then you have the masses left in the dust, for all they got is an overblown ego..no doubt from being indulged, spoiled and coddled by their parents, and expects that success be handed to you on a silver platter. And they get all emotional, some even going so far as to threaten Simon when their performance is shitty.
Now in defence of the autistic guy, I think he tried his best, and I salute him for attempting, but he's no different than other people who get rejected in the first round. I mean, does he want to be labeled as different from everyone else due to his disability? I think he was adjucated no differently than any other contestants who crashed and burned. So I don't think he was treated unfairly. Anyone who is remotely familiar with American Idol KNOWS that there's a good chance you won't get in at the audition. But the true professionals who audition don't hinge all their hopes on just one vehicle such as America Idol. I mean, come on kids..lets be realistic for one sec, k? Those who want it do more than "just show up" at an audition. They practise their audition over and over again..WEEKS in advance. They get experience with singing by taking voice lessons, and getting used to performing in front of people. They MEMORIZE THE LINES. They actually pick songs that showcase their strengths, and they actually WARM UP THEIR VOICES before they audition. I took voice in college and a couple of seminars in University..I can actually tell if someone has warmed up their voice or not just by listening to them talk with the judges before they do their song. So I had to steele myself against the unholy caterwauling more than I'd have liked (Oh how I wanted to bite into some aluminum foil!).
Oh and while we're at being realistic about the audition process...they aren't just looking for a fantastic voice..they need the whole package. Does the person auditioning have a style thats appealing to todays youth? Some came in wearing the worst outfits I've ever laid eyes on. I mean, come on people! Wear something you look good in. Get your mothers opinion instead of your stoner buddy nodding off on your couch in his underwear.
Oh and one more thing about the audition process...expect rejection. Be professional about the critcism and if you don't like what they say, then there's no reason to subject yourself to the harsh realities of showbiz. You'll hear lots of bad stuff...but you can't let it affect you. I mean, hell, if you pick up a tabloid, you can see lots of gossip about your idols, and some comments are downright nasty, and they don't let it get to them. Grow a thick skin. And if you are told you shouldn't bother to continue seeking fame and glory, well, you can either accept the criticism or not. I have to agree with Simon when he tells someone "Well, at least now you know so you can pursue something else." Nothing wrong with that remark. There's lots of people who auditioned who sounds like they'd do better at accounting, or working at Burger King.
There! I'm glad I got that out!
Any bad auditions stand out in your mind? I know now that the worst singers have been weeded out, I probably won't watch the show till the finale. I'm sure there are others like me....I love watching those "train wrecks".

Snow, update on Back Forty and Nancy Grace....

Hello everyone! I meant to type to all of you sooner but lo and behold, I get online, and suddenly I'm one popular chick! 2 nights in a row I conversed with 5 people simaultaneously...by the time I'm done its time to go to bed. I love the conversations though..for this chick out here in the boonies can get a mite lonely and wanting for a bit of company, and my conversations have been very enlightening. Kudos to Sugarfoot..an awesome conversationalist, and an intelligent person to boot! Plus, one whom I now consider a "kindred spirit" in this crazy world we live in.
Anyhoo...we have a bit more snow blowing about, which is a change from the slush/dirt/gravel mix I'd been slogging through, and the temperatures have finally dipped to close to -20C. However..looking at everyone elses forecast in the rest of the Great White North, I have to say that North Ontario has had some pretty good weather. Almost the middle of January, and though it may be a tad cold for some, this Stranger can handle with utmost ease. I feel bad for my pal JD..hes had some nice big shitstorms out in BC as of late. Hey JD..haven't heard from you in a few..hope all is well..and post another chapter to your blog already! Alberta is in the deep freeze, and to my pals out there..V and K, N and J, Zinky..stay warm eh? And don't forget to don the long johns if need be. I still use my fall coat, which is nice, mostly cause I'm a bit lazy in trying to dig the superwarm winter coat out of the back of the closet. Oh well.
In other news,Sunday I went to work out at the gym..could only manage to walk on the gerbil run, because I noticed a bit of muscle tightness in the left hip again. Next morning, I wake at 6:30m...not because I had to pee or anything...no..I had pain. Yes Ladies and Gents, that freakin hip went out again. So I got up and went to the restaurant insanely early to prep for the day because I knew if stayed in bed it would get worse. It got worse anyways. Kinda discouraging, but today I went to the chiropractor and he popped that fucker back in place. Damn I need a new line of work pronto. Get this..last year I spent over $200 just to pop my hip back in. Seriously. It blows, but what can you do? I mean just imagine how bad I'd be if I never went at all...you'd see the Stranger drag racing the coffin dodgers down Huron Walk in my top of the line motorized scooter. Hell, if I was confined to one of those contraptions I'd totally make it worth my while...drag race for scooter pink slips..come on..don't tell me you wouldn't pay good money to see that! I know I would! Toast the winner by spraying tubes of Ben Gay all over him or her. There'd be fun times had by all I'm sure. Hell, I gotta laugh at all this..well..now that I'm not in pain right now I can laugh. I think I'll go in again Monday and Wednesday for a tune up just to be sure. In the meantime my chiropractor told me not to get too discouraged if I can't do too much at the gym, but to keep trying. So I will.
Anyhoo...I have a show I gotta comment on because I just love it. Yup, Nancy Grace. She is someone I (and Pizzaslinger) admire because she isn't afraid to speak her mind, and its nice to see someone on TV who does give a damn about those who are victims. The other night she had a segment about a baby that was left on the doorstep of a nursing home facility, and when the newborn was discovered, the towel she was wrapped in was wet, and there had been a bit of blood loss because of the umbilical cord. Considering that 47 states in the US have a law where you can walk right into a hospital, and physically hand your unwanted baby over to a health care professional, no questions asked, there is no excuse for leaving your newborn on the steps outside in the cold. Apparantly the baby suffered hypothermia, with her body temperature dropped down 15 degrees below normal. But thankfully the baby is fine, but the cops are looking for the parents. You know, I've heard over the years how people give birth and kill their babies and throw the bodies in a dumpster, or even like that highschool prom queen who had her baby in her high school bathroom and killed it and threw the baby in the trash, then went back to the party. Sick. Heres my thoughts on the subject...I understand that a woman, especially if she's young will tend to be in an extreme emotional state when she discovers herself with child. However..if the end result is having a newborn unceremoniously dumped in a dumpster like so much trash, then the woman would have been better off having an abortion in the 1st trimester. Funny how in high school they teach people about the proper uses of various birth control, hell even give out the option of being abstinent, and teenagers are still getting pregnant. Yeah I know..this kind of education doesn't make an impact on youth...well, some youth..the ones that don't care about the consequences, or think it won't happen to them. Its kinda ironic you know..that there are many women out there who would love more than anything in the world to be a mother, and would be terrific moms, yet can't have children, and ones who can have children throw the baby in the trash. Perhaps I shouldn't be too harsh on the woman who deposited her baby on the doorstep..perhaps she was afraid that people would ask questions. I think she had a bit more common sense, but still when you ask moms everywhere..you'd get the answer that the woman should have brought the baby indoors. Anyhoo..Nancy Grace was pretty vocal about her disapproval of the act, and I liked the fact she had no problems expressing her opinion, and to hell with what anyone else thinks. I've been watching Nancy Grace with more frequency as of late, but I just love the show, what can I say? That and now on the Food Channel they've been showing reruns of "Hell's Kitchen". I love Chef Gordon Ramsay..drops the f-bombs with ease..and can strike fear in the heart of any seasoned chef. He had another show on the same channel called "Ramsays Kitchen Nightmares". Another good show to watch. Though I do admit, i is hard to look at all that fantastic food without feeling super hungry. Hell, just talking about it is making my stomach growl. Grr.......
Anyhoo...I'm gonna wrap up this chapter. Blogger questions...yup I have several...1) Where the heck is everyone? 2) Anything good happening in your neck of the woods? 3) What is your favorite shows on television and why? and 4)What was the first ting you saw when you looked out a window today? Cheers! Until later....

More of the same insomnia, a crazy weekend, and my take on executions.

First off...Happy New Year to my Blogger Family....I caught myself filling out the date as 2006 earlier today. I find that it takes about a month before I get the hang of writing the correct year down. The weather outside is..wow..warm. Plus temps scheduled for the rest of the week. And, we even got some more rain, which has cleaned up the wet snow that was still clinging to the sidewalk. It seriously did feel like Spring! Like I've said in previous posts..this Stranger is definately not complaining. Although I do feel bad for those who've been getting hit repeatedly with the shitstorms. Sugarfoot...stay warm ok? And keep me posted if you finally see your sidewalk without the aid of the snowblower.
I meant to blog a bit sooner, as last weekend was a weekend where I almost did let Pizzaslinger loose with a triple flip over the counter and a boot up the ass of a rowdy patron. Seriously. Talk about a rough crowd. Lets say first that it was the most disgusting, repugnant display of male testosterone and heavy intoxication at work. These guys were so disgusting with their attitudes, they could make a whole roomful of women contemplate becoming a lesbian. And no men (or dicks)allowed. Let me explain.
There were a bunch of kids who left in the Fall to go to the city to go to University. They come back for their Winter Break, and get completely loaded in the only bar thats open. Our pizzeria is open til 3am, but even that time didn't stop the late stragglers from last call from staggering on in to our fine eating establishment. Picture about 20-30 guys, chanting at the top of their lungs like they're at an English football match, and where proper adjectives are tossed to the side in favor of the word Fuck. All these guys would be crowding the counter, keeping others who wanted to order from doing so, thus slowing down my routine. A couple of times I had to yell to tell them to keep the noise level down. One guy had the nerve to ask my mother when his "fuckin pizza sub was ready". At that instant, I was ready to pound that fuckers nose in with my fist. I seriously wanted blood. Mom prevented me from giving him a proper ass whoping. Don't worry Blogger friends..I've memorized the face. I got my non violent ways of making someone pay..and it comes in the form of a hot sauce thats sooo spicy, it'll burn you a new asshole, guaranteed.
So now we're getting into a routine, and then we see that the plug in in the wall has been taken apart so that now its hanging by the wires. Mom knew who did it, and the next day called him on his shit, cause he had less alcohol percolating thru his system, and could actually understand the English he learned since his exit from the womb. He seemed embarrassed and asked what he could do..I told him he could fix it. His response was to leave and get someone else to come in and order for him. What a pussy.
Then something happens that is so shocking to Mom, that in its few seconds of discovery, everyone in the restaurant finds out. A guy, sitting at the staff table, was busy consuming all the leftovers that the previous patrons at the table had left moments before. This guy was totally wasted, and obviously by the way he was mauing down on the leftover bites of food, didn't have enough coin after his obscene drinking binge to buy a meal to slow the absorption of the vat of liquor his liver was currently being assaulted with. My mother, with a look of horror on her face, exclaims (and rather loudly I might add), "Oh my God..that guy is eating garbage!!!" The guy got up quickly and left. I didn't know whether to laugh or to barf....I was seriously thinking I might be able to pull both off at the same time, which would have been an absolute first for me to experience, and for others to behold.
By 3:30 am I finally managed to get rid of the last of the boozers, and when the crowd was gone, what was left in their wake was serviettes and other debris carelessly strewn about the floor. Apparantly someone though it'd be super cool to waste a whole dispenser full of serviettes. They made an amazingly large, albeit soggy pile, which I then had to deposit in the trash, all the while cursing them in several languages under my breath for wasting trees.
You'd think the Friday night fun would end there. One of the loudmouth fucks walks back in and asks me if he can borrow a permanent marker from me, swearing that he will bring it back after a few moments. Now ladies and gents, this Stranger was not born yesterday, but I decided to humor him and ask him what it was for. He says, (and I'm quoting here) "My buddy's passed out in the snow, and I wanna get him with the marker." I respond..."What? Your friend is drunk, passed out in slushy wet snow, and instead of being a true friend and ensuring he gets home safely, you want to mark up his face with a permanent marker? What kind of a friend are you?"
He seemed puzzled so I elaborated (gotta explain things simply for drunks, especially the 19 year olds) " Your friend could get seriously ill from lying in wet snow, and you're first concern isn't to get him home and ensure he's ok, but rather to make fun of him, and take advantage of him when he's helpless. That is not what true friends do." He left, and I'm assuming next time I may have to use diagrams to explain my take on his shenanigans. What a fucking jerk. Someone needs to kick his balls til he is rendered sterile..Lord knows we don't need any more stupid people here in this town than we already have.
Thankfully, Saturday was less intense, and more tolerable. Still, it takes me forever it seems to clean up after we're closed. Now I can't remember for the life of me which day Saddam was executed, but I know it fell on a weekend and that whole event put me in a very sour mood.
Before any of you begin to think I am a sympathizer and supporter of Saddams former regime, I say for the record that is not so. However, after deciding (then watching) the full execution on the Internet someone had secretly leaked (and has now been arrested Thank God), I was disgusted by the whole act. Here were some things (filming aside )that I found disturbing about the video....
The taunts that were directed at Saddam were in my humble opinion, completely out of line. Regardless of what someone has done, I think it would be appropriate for silence, for taunting and yelling at the accused, telling them to "burn in hell", makes us no better than the criminal. Those who claim to be devout Christians probably remember this one saying that Jesus spoke, "What you do to the least of my brethern, you do to me." Another interesting quote comes from the old Testament, "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.". Regardless of a persons faith, those who have been condemmned to die have already been judged..why make your situation worse when its time for you to face God, or whomever you believe in?
Another thing that bothered me was that despite his death, and the images of people dancing in the streets afterwards..it didn't bring anyone back, did it? We accuse someone of murder and then commit the act ourselves. As a political tactic it was a complete faux pas. He's now considered a martyr in many parts of Iraq, with many Saddam supporters vowing revenge. Does it really bring closure? True closure would be some happy ending in my book...where Iraq would cease to be occupied by soldiers..suicide bombing would be a thing of the past..kids could walk down the streets feeling safe. I fear for the safety of the American and Canadian troops currently overseas. How do you win a war against people who really in essence have nothing to lose? Those kids should be home with their families...not out taking orders from a government that insists they "Kill the enemy" when even the government doesn't truly know who the enemy is.I don't hate the soldiers out there fighting...I can only pray for all of them to safely return home.
But the worst thing I noticed during the viewing was that Saddam was in the middle of a prayer, and the trapdoor swung open. At this point I kinda lost it. Put yourself in a condemned mans shoes if you can for just one minute. What if you had a final word or two to say to a loved one, and midsentence they killed you? What if you felt the need to ask for Gods forgiveness? Think on this for a bit...Christians believe that God can forgive the worst sins in the world..things we mere mortals couldn't. In Sadamms case, he was proclaming Allah as his god and Mohammed as his prophet, in my opinion an affirmation of faith. Who are we to deny anyone the chance to redeem themselves before their God? I believe that everyone, regardless of faith, should be allowed their prayer without interuption, before they go.
Another horrible thing to see was the fall and the instant aftemath of the hanging. I watched that the other night, fully intending to go to bed afterwards and get a good nights sleep. Well, lets say that I have not slept at all in 2 days now. I am thankful though that stuff like that still effects me emotionally, because I know I've not become desensitized to violence, and so now feel better capable of opposing it. I no longer believe in the death penalty. It won't bring true closure for anyone out there suffering, because the people they loved are gone and will never come back. And a lot of these killers are not afraid of death..in Saddams case, he welcomed it, and accepted it as his new role as the Sunnis "martyr". In this case he is going to become more powerful dead than alive.
Well, this is the end of this post..I don't have anything super witty to type here so sorry if the ending here seems like it hasn't put it all together. Here I will be happ to hear comments from others out there in cyberspace about whats happening overseas..but please..keep th comments clean, and at least on the intelligible side. There were enough ignorant fools on Youtube spouting hate to Muslims that I've already had my quota for the year..thanks.