I am sooo burnt out...

Well..last night was busy for me..was up til 5am baking cookies..Oh Great One...I so feel your pain right now! You'd think that after my long hours, yours truly could finally sleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. Yeah, right. I did not sleep til 7am. But I figured I could get some good shuteye anyways, cause Mom didn't need me til 1 pm in the restaurant. Would you believe that at 11AM...the phone rang. Now...I'm the type of person who could have a alarm clock blasting noise right in my ears for hours on end once I fall asleep and I won't hear it, but for some reason the moment I hear that fucking phone ring (out in the living room even), I instantly (on the first ring mind you) am out of bed and running to the phone. I caught it after the second ring, and said "Hello?........Hellloooooo...Helllllooooooooooo!!!!!" No one is on the fucking line and so thinking that perhaps Mom had called me and hung up just as a signal to get downstairs sooner, I call her at the restaurant. Turns out it wasn't her after all. Its 11:15 am now, and I'm wide awake after only 3-4hrs max of sleep. The night before that was the same thing in terms of actual sleep time. I knew I could not go back to bed to take an hour nap. So I have been toying with the idea of letting Pizzaslinger answer the phone. Prob is we don't have call display at home but I can *69. Here was one phone greeting I toyed with using when I am rudely woken from my fitful slumber by some jackoff trying to sell me shit I don't need over the phone:

Phone rings. Pizzaslinger answers, "YOU'D BETTER BE ON FIRE ASSHOLE!!!"

or

Phone rings.Pizzaslinger answers, "You'd better be bleeding to death to disturb my sleep, cause if you're not, I'm tracking your sorry ass down. I'll stick this cordless right up your ass if you call me again. FUCK OFF!!!!"

or

Phone rings. Pizzaslinger answers. SOmeone on the line asking for money to support some cause or another. Pizzalinger replies, " I don't have money to donate..but it sounds like you do! Can you donate 50 bucks to my charity? Its called...Call Me Again And You'll Choke On Your Own Nuts..Asshole... Leave me the fuck alone jerk!!!!"

Well...some ideas...try one of them and let me know how it works.
So I did get a break from work and now I have to make my way downstairs to greet the drunk crowd, which is well....not the greatest use of my time, I'll say that. At any rate..Sometimes they can be cheap entertaiment. We had freezing rain outside, so hopefully I'll see some drunk trying to cross the street and fall flat on his ass.
Weather here is freezing rain, and just rain. What the weather like where you are? And Sugarfoot..I heard Denver Airport is still in a shitstorm...hope you get out of Vegas soon, and home before Christmas.

And Now For Good News In Strangers' Camp!!

Today I got a letter in the mail. It was from Capitol One....at first thinking I got yet another polite refusal...but noted that there was more than one piece of paper in the envelope. I open the letter and read. To my surprise, and happiness, I am informed that a Mastercard is on its way to my address!!!!!!! I feel a sense of relief. You see, this is my first credit card..I'd thought the ex had ruined my credit there but turns out he didn't, and so I have one now in case of an emergency. Funny thing was I was praying for some good news in the past few days..looks like God said "Yes." Thank God. Plus..I had a dream last night I didn't remember once I awoke, much to my delight, altho the insomnia is still here somewhat. Also..I've sold quite a bit of baking recently. I've been trying my hand at chocolate dipped coconut balls, and chocolate peanut butter balls, and last night I had an advance order for a batch..which runs the buyer around 16 bucks. Thats for a medium container. The candies are bite sized..and I think I fit 40 of them in the container. Plus..I have another advance order to deliver which is worth 20 bucks, and the other day I sold a variety pack of baking for 60 bucks. So its been good. Its time consuming because I have to heat the chocolate in a double boiler, and needs to be at the right consistency for dipping. And out in the Back Forty..chocolate is quite expensive. I was going to buy most of the ingredients from the wholesalers, but they usually don't have the exact brands that I use exclusively.Oh well...I'm just about done baking for yet another year. But I do have to send some parcels yet..which will have to be after Christmas for those people..but what can I say? Better late than never!
Okay Blogger question time..2 questions...first one is where the heck is everyone? Second one is..did you get any good news this week? Hope to hear from y'all! Peace!

Wanna decipher this dream Sigmund Freud???

Actually I had 2 dreams in the past couple days that have stood out for me. I now keep the damned dream dictionary on my bed beside me because these crazy dreams are gonna drive me gonzo. I'll try to explain them as best I can..wish I could draw or paint you visual pictures but for now, the english language will have to do.
The first dream goes as follows: I am in a hospital, and the doctor is explaining to me that there is something wrong with my arms and legs, and they will need to be amputated. I was informed that they would be amputated around the elbows and knees. I was upset to hear the news, and spoke about how incredibly difficult it would be to get on in life on my own. Suddenly, my Uncle shows up in my dream. Mind you..this uncle has been dead now for 11 years (he died of brain cancer). I wondered why he was there and he informed me that he would give me his arms and legs..that the doctors had the ability to attach new limbs where mine once was. I watch as the doctors give my Uncle a needle, and I watch him die. Then I am put on an operating table and a gas mask is put over my mouth and nose. Everything goes black. In an instant I am awake again, and I am lying on a daybed with a nurse at my side to give me more morphine so I "will be comfortable and pain free." Shortly thereafter, the bandages come off and I note that though my new arms and legs are masculine looking, they are slowly appearing like my own. I could see the angry red scars on my elbows and knees where they had sutured the limbs on, and even these scars were slowly fading, but I noted that the scars will always be somewhat visible. The scene shifts to me riding down the highway on a moped, and I was planning to see a comedian friend perform at a small venue of some kind. I arrive, and there are people there sitting around on couches, and my friend is standing doing his routine. I had the feeling that the seated people were doing drugs of some kind, and they seemed wary of me so they got up and left. I decided to leave too, at first wanting to go and see my friend, but then giving up the search and deciding to make my way back to the moped and head on home. But for some reason I couldn't locate the bike at first. When I discovered where it was, it seemed far away, with a series of stairs, and high concrete walls that I would have to climb and scale before I would reach my destination. I also had to pass through a house, which has the frame up, but no walls...it was up off ground level due to a very high concrete foundation and to get down to the earth I had to hang off the side of this barrier, and as I hung there from my hands, I could feel the scar tissue in my elbows stretch. I moved along the side of the foundation til I found a spot that wasn't so far from the ground, and then I let go. I landed fine, and then went on my way.
Now the second dream wasn't as intense, or as elaborate..it involved me in an airport. I was standing in an airport and there was a blind man with me.I guess I was there to help him find his gate, and so the dream mainly consists of me leading him through various points in an airport. It was a short dream, and I woke up right afterwards. The first one is the one I'm mainly interested in. I do know what my dream dictionary says about the dream..tho there are some words that it does not have in the book.This dream is telling me something about where I am right now in life. I would love to hear everyones interpretation of the dream. Perhaps one of you could touch upon something I had missed. So if you have a dream dictionary, dust them off and give me your best interpretation. I don't see this dream as a nightmare..no..not even the wolves dream, because I checked that dream out in the book, and it has to do with my attitudes about men. Weird huh? Anyhoo..if you don't want to touch this crazy dream with a ten foot wide dream catcher..then heres my Blogger question....any strange dreams you'd like me to interpret???? Or simply share? Or are you one of those lucky SOB's who never remember any of your dreams? Here's something interesting about my dreams..99% of them have been in color. So when they say we only dream in black and white , I say thats a steaming huge pile of horse manure. Anyhoo..its late here. Time for some more dreams....sigh.

I can't believe there's no snow! WTF???

Yes, ladies and gents, its been raining here in the Back Forty for the past 3 days. As a result, all the snow we'd accumulated from the few previous snowfalls melted away. Global warming I suppose is the culprit. A lot of coffin dodgers out here say this will be the mildest winter yet. Personally I couldn't give a rats ass. Snow..rain....hell...we could have 24 sunlight or darkness for a few months. Doesn't bother me. Though I do get bothered whe I hear we've been spoiled. As if Nature gives a shit what we mere human beings think. As though whining about the weather will make Mother Nature suddenly say, "Okay! I'll give you warm weather as long as you quit asking me!" It doesn't bother this non-winter person in the least. Its been 6 degrees Celcius during the day this week. I'm just going to enjoy it.
I wish I had more to type about right now, but believe it or not, its not even 12:30am yet, and I'm beat, and I think I may possibly be able to drop off to sleep without any problems. So my Blog question is....how's everyone doing? And whats the weather like in your neck of the woods? Peace, my Blogger family..and goodnight!

Slush and Insomnia does not make this Stranger Happy..

Yeah the weather warmed up again to a +2 degrees today, turning the roads and sidewalks into sandy slush. Normally I wouldn't give a shit, but all the sand gets tracked into the restaurant and deposited all over the tile floor. So I have to sweep up the coarse sand every few hours ( sometimes more depending on the amount of traffic), and theres enough sand per sweep to fill the dustpan. Sure I could leave it, but I hate the sound of scratching the sand makes against the tile when I walk across the floor. Makes me cringe..kinda the same reaction I'd give if someone scratched their nails across a blackboard. eeewwhhhhggghhh!
So I'm anticipating above average weather, and have been enjoying the fact that so far this winter season we only had 2 really cold days so far. Unfortunately I've been having trouble sleeping again. I had maybe one night this week so far where I had a half assed decent nights sleep where it didn't take me too long to drop off. Last week, despite the exercise, I didn't do much better. Believe it or not, I have been toying with the idea of obtaining something from my doc to help me get back on track. I get so freakin cranky it drives me nuts! I mean, I even cut down on the coffee today to see if that would help. No go. Then the back started paining me again, so I finally gave up on the whole sleep thing tonight. Seriously. I have to make sure my Mom is up shortly because she has another Doctors appointment for medical tests, so I may as well stay awake. Besides I only have one cigarette left in my pack and I need to get some more. If there is a plus to all of this (and this is a dig to the ex) I don't have to share my smokes with a lazy out of work bum who'll take your whole pack and leave you like 2 to last you indefinately. Hey Ostrich..mighty white of ya eh???Oh hey Ostrich...who are you blowing now to put a roof over your head? I say this cause Ostrich has gone through most of the women in Lethbridge, Calgary, and vincinity, and has probably switched teams by now...to feed his addiction to being an uber user asshole (and male whore!)! All women (and men) in Alberta and British Columbia..if you meet a guy who is Czechoslovakian, an EMT (but jokes he's an Eating Muff Technician HAR HAR HAR) tells the lamest puns, won't smile showing his teeth cause his teeth are seriously rotting outta his head from his 3 pack a day habit, and is allergic to everything, seriously addicted to Ativan, and on prescription anti psychotics ,not to mention the biggest bullshitter on the planet...run far far FAR away from him!!!
Well, thats what happens when I can't sleep..gotta take it out on shitters...especially the ones who never atone for their actions.
Enough about shit....anyhoo.....would love an update from all of you about the weather in your neck of the woods..is it cold, warm, hotter than hell? Oh and what would you rather be doing right now that, if given the opportunity and resources, would do in a heartbeat? For me its simple..I'd love a decent deep sleep for about 8 unbroken hours. Hope all is well with you!

NOW we have snow....and taking back the holiday.

.....Yeah..I meant to tell y'all a couple of days ago, butit was the kinda snow where I wasn't sure it was gonna stick around for a bit...Outside the snow gently falling looks quite pretty, and a little hypnotic. Snow is really hypnotic when you're driving down the highway and it makes you feel like you're in Star Wars movie, going at light speed. Yeah..I'm weird...maybe I did too many drugs back in the day..lol.
I have to admit something folks....I'm really not into the Christmas hype at all anymore. I mean, when you're a kid, with no cares in the world besides hoping that cute guy in your Grade 2 class will mark the "Yes" box on the note you passed in answer to your question "Will you be my friend?", Christmas is the be all and end all of seasons. Finally you get the gift you've been waiting for (forever to you, but to the 'rents, its only been a month since you first saw it advertised in the Christmas Catalogue from Sears), and look forward to the moment you can tear away the wrapping paper from the gift from Santa (tho it was Mom who wrapped it only an hour after you fell asleep the night before), and try out the new toy. But times have changed. I saw a commercial the other day that pissed me off. Now I know it was only a commercial sending people the message that its important to get people what they want for the holidays. Have you see this commercial? It looks like a montage of home movies where kids who, after opening their gifts throw the most disgusting fits of rage when they realize its not the gift they were hoping for. Whats pisses me off mainly is the parents feeble attempts to subdue the brat, so they can have the perfect home movie of Christmas. One kid threw the biggest tantrum, and tips the Christmas tree over. I mean, come on! A part of me thinks if I had a kid that turned out that ungrateful, I'd give him five across the eyes. That kid would never get another gift ever again. I think though that if I had kids, I wouldn't tolerate that kind of behavior. But I know parents have a hard time teaching their kids good morals, especially when they see bad examples on TV, movies, and games. Why should a kid care that millions of people are dying in 3rd world countries of starvation or AIDS, especially when the new war game by Playstaton is out. Have you noticed these war games that have come out recently? They are so realistic, is it no wonder we have kids walking into their classes with rifles and sawed off shotguns and shooting their peers? That'd be the day I have a child that throws a fit cause I didn't buy them a game that lets them practise killing people.
I think its high time we took back Christmas. Sure, it originally was a 12 day pagan festival celebrated by the early Romans called Saturnalia, but for others it has a spiritual meaning...celebrating Jesus' birth, and also celebrating family and friendships. I have not done Christmas shopping this year. I really don't want to be surrounded with messages to spend my hard earned money for something that someone will never use, or would trade it in on Boxing Day for something better. I'm quite tired of the "pissing" contest that ensues among family members this time of year..who can get the best, most expensive presents. Doesn't impress me.
So lets take back Christmas. Now ......what am going to suggest may be hard, but in the end, you'll feel a hell of a lot better, not to mention see peoples true colors. Don't spend your money on your family members..no.......... not even your kids. Take that money, and go to www.worldvision.ca and use the money to buy a family a couple of grazing goats, so they have fresh milk for the kids every day. Buy another family 5 fruit trees, so they have food, as well as a way to make money to support their family. Buy another family 6 bags of seeds so they can grow some vegetables. Buy another family a few laying hens so they have eggs to eat and to sell, and also allow them to increase the flock. Foster a child so they can go to school, get a good education, and enable them to help their own people. To me, the true meaning of Christmas is not gifts....its coming together and keeping hope alive for those who need help. And think that if you explain that the money you woulda spent on your kids gift went towards giving someone a chance at life, I think they will understand.
If you're looking at teaching your children about empathy and compassion, volunteer at the soup kitchen in your hometown, and bring your kid to help serve food to those less fortunate. Have your kid volunteer at the Food Bank, making up packages of food to send to families who aren't as fortunate as we are. Have them volunteer and wrap gifts for a Toys for Tots program, and teach those children it is truly better to give rather than receive. Of course we being adults have a obligation to show through example that there is still goodness in the world. Shovel the walk for the elderly on your block. Help someone who's car is stuck in ice and snow and give their car a push. Lots of stuff we can do..not just on Christmas, but every day of the year. Take the clothes that are hanging in your closet that you never wear and are still nice, and donate it to the Sally Ann, and if you're a woman, donate your clothes to a Womans Shelter..A lot of these women when they leave a man who beats them can only leave with the clothes on their backs. Kids clothes can be donated there too, along with unused cribs, highchairs, etc. Pass it on. Visit the elderly in the local Old Age home and wish the a Merry Christmas...maybe work it out so you can go once a week and visit the residents and spend time with them...lots of elderly are simply dropped off at these shelters by their adult children, and they never visit them. If you have a knack for doing hairstyling, give the ladies there a makeover. If you can play an instrument, go and sing for them.
I hope some of you out there will try a few suggestions here in my Blog....but heres the kicker..don't tell me about it. If you do a good deed for someone, I believe the best gifts are the ones you give that no one is aware who did it. For the gift ideas for your kids, it is good to ask them before the holidays what they think of giving up their most expensive gift wish, and use the money to help another kid who doesn't have it so good. I think in most cases, after a few momnts of silent thought, the kid will tell you its a good idea. Get them used to giving more than receiving, and they'll turn out all right....and your Christmas tree will remain unscathed.

Stranger Masters the Ass Master!!!

A very weird title, but I finally did it. Yes Ladies and gens..I had my 1st official workout in the local gym. And it was not pretty, as its been a while since I had a decent workout. As a teenager I was in terrific shape after I shed like 55 pounds. I worked out and had a bod that was to die for, complete with 32-24-32 inch measurements. I could wear a size 3. Now...well, lets say that I've been eating too well in the past year or so..Hey! Thats what happens when you live with Mom who feeds you some home cooked Greek food. Now people can tell I'm Greek..Just check out the ass.
Anyhoo, what prompted me to finally stop procrastinating was a coupleof days ago I notice that in the local paper there was an advert for Bellydancing lessons in February. Mom thought the lessons were a great idea, as Greeks see Bellydancing as an art form..and it is. I just want to try it...who know? Maybe that skill would come in handy for me someday. Mom is a big fan of Odessey channel (the Greek channel on cable) and there will be music videos with Greek bellydancers, and I am impressed with the skill. Mom suddnly turns to me and says," You have to have a flat belly to bellydance. You're too fat to bellydance." I didn't know what to say..at that moment both I and Pizzaslinger were dumbstruck. Now my reading audience...I am not what you call "fat". I am a little thicker round the middle, and I have a butt, that , in the right pair of jeans would look good, but mostly looks ...well....BIG.
So my Mom went ahead of me to the gym with her friend tonight while I finished up at the restaurant. Then I followed, and found the gym in the basement. My mom shows me all the machines, as its been a while since I've set foot near exercise equipment.
She puts me on the treadmill....and so I walked , and walked, and walked...............and walked. Finally I got off the damned thing, because I realize that I am a human being and not a fuckin gerbil. So Mom put me through a series of exercises to work my upper body, then my abs, and finally the gluteous maximus (in my case the gluteous maximus gargantuatus). Took me about an hour and a half to get through tonights workout. I am sore all over. I mean, super sore. I'm sure I'll feel it worse tomorrow when I go again, but I'm gonna be sure I get my fat ass there every day if I can to work on it.
I hope I can go down a few pants sizes over the next month or so. I'll keep you posted.
In other news..we finally got the excess furniture out of the apartment upstairs and have have everything rearranged. I finally have the bookshelf in my room, and is now crammed with my collection. The next book I want to find is a translation of Plato's Republic. And some plays by Aristophanes. Hopefully I can find both from Penguin classics, which have excellent translations. Dover is another publisher which does some good work too. And believe it or not, I want to find a copy of Hitler's "Mein Kamf". Just wanna see what the crazy guy had to say is all.
Wow!! My muscles are killing me..time to leave y'all, take a shower and go to bed. Hopefully I won't feel like shit in the morning, but I might. If I don't blog too much this week...well, you know why. Cheers!

This insomnia is getting a bit tired isn't it?

Yup, again I find myself unable to drop off and get a decent nights sleep. I did go to bed a few hours ago, and lay wide awake in my bed. I tried breathing techniques..did not help. I counted sheep. Didn't work. I got bored with the tossing and turning so I figured I'd get online and blog about it. Insomnia has been a problem of mine for many years now. I can't seem to fall asleep until I am utterly exhausted, and sometimes it takes a few days to get to that point. Insomnia has fucked up my sleep schedule to the point where I never have appointments to go to early in the morning, cause I need to get at least a few good hours of sleep. Insomnia makes me feel like a freakin zombie about 95% of the time. If I was a drinkin woman I'm sure I could drink to the point of passing out. But I like my liver too much to do that. One time someone suggested sleeping pills. I don't like the idea of having to take a pill to knock me out. Especially when you have to ensure you can devote 8 hours to sleep. Most of the time I get about 5 hours a night. Sure I'm in bed longer but most of that time is spent looking up at the ceiling and wishing I could sleep. And then the retarded dreams...I had some more of them lately, but I've forgotten most of it now so I can't give you all an accurate play by play. All I remember was it was a violent dream. I can't call it a nightmare, because I didn't wake up scared or anything. Just confused. Its almost 4am by my watch here and I'm debating about whether or not I should bother sleeping at all. But I think I do need to try cause its Friday now, and I wil be working til the wee hours of the morning. I'll need whatever rest I can get. Kinda wish right now that I was Seven of Nine from Star Trek Voyager..just plug in to juice up the batteries. Sigh. I guess I may as well go to bed, sleep or no sleep. Anyone else out there have a prob with sleeping? How long have you dealt with the prob?